


to hinata

by koshirabu



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Love Letters, M/M, Possibly Unrequited Love, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 16:54:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24350119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koshirabu/pseuds/koshirabu
Summary: to hinata, a heartfelt letter - a letter you never got to read five years ago.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 1
Kudos: 45





	to hinata

hinata,

i swear if you laugh while you read this i will punch you in the face the next time we meet again.

i’m not good with words but hey, i’m trying, alright? it’s not everyday i’m gonna write a letter for my idiot of a partner, so please bare with my small vocabulary. ps. i’m not writing this because i want to. or i did. or not. i don’t know. but you gotta read this or else i’m gonna kick you for real.

you were an amazing partner. while everyone turned their backs on me, you and everyone and karasuno somehow put up with my bullshit. i felt like i improved because of you being so annoyingly bright and determined when it comes to volleyball. i don’t know. but i did realize something – you kinda made me love volleyball more.

remember when i told you i’d bring the ball to you? you trusted me and closed your eyes when you spiked. haha, you were a real idiot. how could you trust me that easily? do you really love volleyball that much? as much as i do?

honestly, i don’t even know what to write here. it’s like my stupid heart wanted to write everything but i just can’t find the write words. should i blame my shitty vocabulary, or my inexperience when it comes to expressing my feelings?

i don’t care, anymore, though. the three years with you were amazing. not that kind of amazing where i would never want it to end. i’m not sappy like that. it was amazing in a way that instead of leaving high school with the least bit of memories, i’m leaving it, carrying the idea that you were in it. that i enrolled to karasuno just to play volleyball, and graduated with actually enjoying everything – every practice match, every training session, every set i gave to you.

do you get what i’m saying? hah, maybe you don’t. you’re an idiot after all. hinata boke. hahaha.

when we stand once again in the same court, as my teammate or my opponent, know that i’ll be smiling on the inside. whether i set for you, serve against you, train with you, or train to beat you. your bright orange hair is so annoying that i will end up missing it after a few years.

or something.

and when you find someone who truly loves you — fuck, i don’t want to bring this up. when you find someone you truly love, someone who loves you the same way as i do, please remember that i loved you first. 

yes. i’m confessing to an idiot as we speak.

i love volleyball so much and you of all people know that. i love you too but i’m not sure if i could love you more than volleyball. nah, i’m not so sure about that either. when i hear of volleyball i remember you. when i hear of you i remember volleyball and how you made it a better experience for me.

you don’t have to return my feelings. find someone who loves you more than volleyball. someone who hears your name and remembers you, not anything related to volleyball. i don’t know. it’s hard to express what you can’t express. just know. i loved you first, and maybe i will love you still. after all, i’m just another idiot whose life revolves around volleyball. and you. 

your stupid “kageyama!” voice has a place in my heart. a small one. almost irrelevant. i don’t think i can even see it. but it’s there.

when you have found the one truly meant for you, don’t tell me. or maybe you could, but don’t expect i would attend your wedding or something. i’m sure the idea of you will still hurt a few years, a few decades, a few lifetimes later.

can you see what you did to me, hinata? you made a fool out of me and i don’t think i’m embarrassed to say i don’t mind.

volleyball was fun because i met you (partly, though. i’m an idiot for volleyball from the very beginning). from the first time we stood on the opposite sides of the court, until our very last game. my partner or my opponent. my teammate or my enemy. i will be proud to say you made me grow as a person entirely.

a few years later, if we meet again, you’d better not tell me about this letter. i’m trying to lower my pride when i’m writing this. tell me you missed me. that you’re happy you get to play against me again. in the future.

i’d love it if you’d tell me “you made volleyball a lot more fun for me too, bakageyama.” (do me a favor will ya? you idiot.)

ps. text me after you read this letter. it’s the least you can do. i’ll be waiting. hinata.

– kageyama

**Author's Note:**

> first ao3 story!! it’s not reaaaally angsty but i liked the concept. i hope you enjoyed it!


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